A long overdue post about my first love; Manchester City.

Over the summer, City have spent oodles of cash, (not borrowed to squander), on top flight players to mount a serious challenge on the ManUre, Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal cabal. Not since the days of Malcolm Allison and Joe Mercer have we seen the calibre of players at the the club and the team is now equipped to actually challenge for top honours.

But much has been made of City's spending spree - £18m for Roque Santa Cruz, £25m for Tevez, £25m-ish for Adebayor linking up with the players brought in last season - Wright-Phillips, Robinho, Given, Kompany and de Jong - that's starting to look like a formidable squad. This morning I read that Kolo Toure has agreed personal terms and both Lescott and Terry likely to be signed by the end of August.

City fans are, unsurprisingly, buoyed by expectation, especially after what will be 34 years without a major trophy and have begun goading our nearest rivals from Trafford Borough. Trafford Red Sox manager hasn't taken too kindly to City snaffling Carlos Tevez from right under their noses. In recent weeks ol' bacon-face has told the press that numerous offers were made to Tevez but he never responded and try as they might they were unable to contact him (Tevez). Strange that, don't you see him at the training ground every morning? Or does the Macallans hangover blur your vision?

This morning, the popped-capilliary-faced one has accused City of being a small club with a small mentality citing Adebayor's agents touting their man to both ManUre and Chelski before he signed for City. Well, given that United have sold Ronaldiver and have lost Tevez and have allegedly the full £80m to spend, I'm surprised that United turned down the chance to get one over on Wenger. He has also in recent weeks accused City of spending silly money - this AFTER receiving £80m quid for said diver and having in the past spent £28m on Juan Sebastian Veron (lemon), £30m on Rooney, £18m on Carrick, £30m on Rio "Sniffer" Ferdinand, and £31m on Berbaflop.

Well, City have nabbed a former United loan-player, two Arsenal players and are set to nab Everton's best player and Chelski's talisman. I'd say Ferguson is worried, I mean he has signed Michael Owen on a free (mainly to keep Owen Hargreaves company in the treatment room), a French player no-one's ever heard of, and a player for the reserves and won't be signing anyone else - so he says. But with being over half a billion pounds in the red, I suspect that their Septic owners are more worried about servicing their over-priced loan than success from big-name shirt sales this season.

There's now only one thing left for City to do. If Terry does decide to remain at Chelsea, I suggest Hughes make a cheeky bid for Jamie Carragher. Liverpool also have their own debt worries and would have City's hand off were the bid around the £12m mark. It would piss Rafa off no end and he'd resign in a fit of pique thus removing another close rival from the title race.

At least that's what the Met Office said back in April. Since then I think we have BBQ'd about three times. July has been a complete washout. It has rained all week here in Derbyshire and is raining today. I'm adding to my "carbon footprint" by running the tumble dryer all day - Friday's is wash day at the Crun household.

But with all the claptrap about global warming, climate change, heatwave warnings and BBQ summers, methinks that just like the police and rest of the civil service under ZanuLab, the Met Office has become just as politicised, pumping out nonsense about weather events to fit in with the government line on climat change and its associated tax wheezes whilst completely ignoring proper science.

I was forwarded the following article by Ken Ring of www.predictweather.com, and it seems as though the same problem exists in the Antipodes:

The Australian Weather Bureau is currently facing an inquiry into why weather is not being predicted to the satisfaction of the country’s taxpayers and farming groups (see Refs. below). Once mandatory, such reviewing of a State-funded science faculty should be encouraged. However, it may be little more than a token attempt to appear accountable. For although most are okay at day-to-day forecasting and cataloguing and archiving past events, meteorologists do admit not to having a longrange system. The more honest will not predict any, let alone extreme weather in 50 or 100 years time. When pressed to do so, they resort to averages from the past or computer modeling to look ahead: models that 20 years ago made predictions for today that did not get today's weather right. Satellites and weather balloons are their tools of trade. Consequently forecasters claim the weather is fickle (rather than the models).  In the history of the science meteorology has no more advanced than when the British Meteorological Society was formed in 1850. Back then they could also only hope to go a day or two ahead.

It is possibly not their fault but their system. Meteorologists are trained only to study the properties of the atmosphere. In doing so they believe they can detect changes which will culminate in weather events. And so in the newscasts we get to hear about air pressure, temperature and humidity. We watch wind direction and force. From these come isobaric maps and forecasts which cover a wide area, perhaps from Northland to Taupo, or all of Victoria. But is this forecasting? If you studied the properties of seawater could you predict tides? A basic point of logic is at stake, so simple a point it is missed. The atmosphere cannot create weather - weather is the atmosphere just as tides are not produced by the sea – the tides are the sea. One simply means the other. A revolving wheel does not make a car go, an engine does. Putting water under a microscope cannot detect tidal action, and there is nothing about the properties of air that can possibly generate a weather event, any more than a rice pudding can suddenly jump up and run around like a kangaroo.

Yet over recent decades it has been politically advantageous for weather scientists to build a case for climate-change by describing how weather does come from air. They can then claim that something put into air, like CO2, can upset air-composition balance which would thereby change weather patterns now, as in more severe cyclones, and later, as in climate, hence ‘climate change’. If emitting a substance into the air could change the weather then tipping a tankful of ink into the sea should be able to alter the tide. And continuing this line of logic, one should be able to claim that if more than 0.001% of the sea was replaced with ink and fed into waterways, ocean masses would one day reach a ‘tipping point’ after which the tides will wreak enough havoc that the planet will need saving, all because of a fixed amount of new impurity occupying the ocean. Never mind that the minerals making up the ink pigment originally came from the ocean anyway. It is now a pollutant and visible and should be stopped. The only way to fix it would be to sequester all that ink and to impose a tax on anybody who uses ink to write with. Then, da-daa..tides will return to normal.

Sound familiar? That is the way we are told of the danger of CO2 put into the air. Actually, the sea has had a plethora of impurities poured into it over the years, like sewage, industrial waste and dirty river run-off, not to mention sulphur and lead and other toxic minerals daily from underwater fissures. Oddly this addition of impurity to oceans has not altered the tides in any way. It all gets absorbed to be collectively called ‘the sea’. CO2 forms part of the ocean, with most of it actually in the ocean, and only 3 parts CO2 per 10,000 parts air above our heads at any one time. The amount is stable and the gas comes and goes as oceans release or reabsorb from the air immediately above the ocean surface, depending on local sea surface temperatures.

Perhaps this explains why so many forecasters are certain that greenhouse gases are part of the weather equation. They therefore may never be in a position to deliver more than extended forecasts, because if they only study the physical properties of air at any one moment, they have become weather reporters, substituting reacting to the weather for predicting it. Meteorologists have no interest in extraterrestrial tidal (gravitational) forces - this is the domain of astronomy. Consequently astronomers are well versed in cycles. Meteorologists, again like reporters, look first for stories, not for cycles. They believe weather is random, part chaos, perhaps as patterned as a serial offender, but above all surprising and unexpected. It is as if you were not informed about tide cycles, then you might insist that the sea comes and goes whenever it feels like it.

Any hydrologist knows that outside forces acting on water like moon and sun do change tide, and it is a small mental step to the idea that outside forces also change weather. Weather is the cyclically tidal movement of the air in constant flux. Tide is the cyclical movement of water driven by the same dynamic. There has always been extreme weather, and there have always been exceptional tides and rogue waves. The sea and air are acted on by outside systems. Think of an oyster, a migrating bird, a fish, a mating crab and a cow. All are closed systems until their skins are penetrated, yet all are also subject to lunar influence outside of themselves which governs at least part of their behaviour. CO2, part of the inner system of air/water/land, can make absolutely no contribution to weather or climate. Otherwise, why were CO2 levels higher during the last Ice Age than they are today? Why have we been cooling for the last 10,000 years (Holocene Period)? We are a cooling planet, both in the inner molten core that cools by 5C every million years, and above ground where Earth spends most time -  80-90% of all our geological history - in glaciation mode. The Sun warms the earth which then warms the air. The air never gets warmer than the Sun can heat the ground below it. In short, the air cannot warm the air and nothing within the air can warm the air, anymore than something inside a tyre can drive the car.

From the Times:

A white supremacist who wanted to ignite racial violence by bombing “non-British” people was found guilty of terrorism and explosives offences yesterday.

White supremacist?? Supreme above what exactly? A bunch of daffodils? The best we can hope for is the judge will order a compulsory vasectomy to prevent this fuckwit from further contaminating the gene pool.

Neil Lewington, 44, an unemployed electrician whose heroes were the nail bomber David Copeland and the Oklahoma bomber Timothy McVeigh, was told by a judge that he faced a long prison sentence. His conviction at the Old Bailey coincides with mounting concern among anti-terrorist police about a potential wave of violent far-right plots.

Radio news bulletins reported yesterday that Lewington was drunk, had verbally abused train staff and was urinating on the station platform when arrested.

A search of his bedroom revealed chemical mixtures labelled “igniter”, weedkiller, firelighters, fuses, pyrotechnic boosters and books entitled Homemade Ammo: How to Make It, How to Reload It, How to Cache It and The Do-It-Yourself Gunpowder Cookbook. There were tennis balls with diagrams of how they might be turned into shrapnel bombs.

Now, I don't know much, but I do know that this bloke doesn't exactly strike me as your common or garden member of a well-organised terrorist cell. More like a thick, drunken oaf with a grudge. Probably as dangerous than the average terrorist because this thick twat's bombings will be as indiscriminate and misguided, but without the self-discipline. I mean what self-respecting member of a terror organisation is going to go out, get pissed up, piss off people on a train, then take a piss in public whilst in possession of a shitload of bomb making stuff? He deserves to be locked up just for sheer stupidity alone.

What I personally object to here, is that the police have picked a convenient label and stuck it to this fucking moron - right wing terrorist, indeed. Please Mr. Metropolitan Policeman, can you tell us to which organisation these so-called right wing terrorists belong, and have they been banned in Britain yet? How many members of these organisations are currently under surveillance and/or control orders? My bet is, you can't and they haven't because you either don't know or they just don't exist and the answer to the second question is none.

The BBC website reports that Gordon Brown is promoting a "laddish" culture inside No10.

I think the women MPs have got it all wrong it's not "laddish" in the Zoo magazine, "Oi oi", hello darlin', lovely jubblies you've got there Caroline" sense of the word, but more "Whoops, lovely to see your dolly eek, don't mind me", Graham Norton sense of the word. Personally, I think Gordoom is nervous around women and is intimidated by them. Must be that "honest" Pressbutton upbringing he keeps banging on about.

Time in country: 7 years 9 months

No. British Military personnel lost in last 10 days = 15

No. British Military personnel lost in 7 years, 9 months =  184

No. Military funerals attended by Tony Blair (former Prime Minister) or Gordon Brown (current Prime Minister) =  0

A brand new waxwork figure of Michael Jackson is revealed at Madame Tussauds two days after his funeral


Only two days after the funeral? They obviously didn't bother with a wax model, Madam Tussauds just had the original stuffed..

From the BBC:

A man has died after falling into a vat of hot chocolate at a factory in the US state of New Jersey.

Vincent Smith Jr, 29, was emptying pieces of solid chocolate into the melting vat when he slipped from a platform into the 2.5m (8ft) deep unit.

A spokesman for the local prosecutor's office said the man appeared to have died instantly from a blow to his head by a paddle mixing the chocolate.

His colleagues at the factory tried to shut down the mixer, but were too late.

Mr Smith was a temporary worker at the Cocoa Services Inc plant in the city of Camden.

The chocolate is mixed at the plant by another company before being shipped.

In memoriam, the company plan to name a star after Mr. Smith, in the Milky Way.

So our world leaders are not so intelligent after all (or maybe they are - all conspiring in this lovely little tax and carbon trading wheeze) and have agreed to limit the increase in global temperature to around 2 degrees Celsius, by 2050.

Ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And how do they propose to do this without completely knackering their own economies and that of the developing nations?

I have a suggestion. All the ecoloons should be sent to the top of Mounts Kilimanjaro, K2 and Everest in their summer finery to shout at the Sun: STOP SHINING YOU BASTARD, YOU'RE KILLING THE PLANIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!

It is definitely a hoax, this fucking charlatan is involved!

Synopsis.

It is 2010 and Great Britain is the grip of a deadly swine flu epidemic. Industry has ground to a halt, the economy is in collapse, and the NHS is unable to cope.

But how did it come to this? Roll back to 2008. The British Government is in meltdown, poll ratings are through the floor, the Prime Minister is deeply unpopular. One critical piece of legislation need to be ratified in order to satisfy a secret cabal within the government. A cabal whose origins stretch back deep into the Third Reich. The legislation would see Great Britain become part of a Federal Socialist European State but events elsewhere delay ratification in Westminster. There is a danger that a general election, which the ruling party would be resoundingly defeated would precede ratification. With opposition parties promising to let the British people decide. The cabal decide to take swift action to protect their own interests.

One Minister, a member of the cabal, hatches a plan to delay the general election. He contacts a cabal member working for a pharmaceutical research facility. Together they create a flu-like virus that is debilitating but not deadly. As a test run, they release it into the general population at a popular hotel resort in Latin America. The virus takes hold and quickly mutates into a deadly strain and sweeps across the globe. In Britain, the election is postponed and the EUSSR legislation passes through Westminster by ministerial decree but a single blogger uncovers the cabal's secret and all hell breaks loose.

The cabal decide to cover their tracks. The Minister is assassinated by a member of the Brazilian Secret Service posing as a rent boy. The Prime Minister is found dead in the cabinet office, spatchcocked across a rocking horse, the words "I always tell the truth" written in blood on the walls......

Any character resemblence to anyone living or dead is entirely coincidental. It is only a story after all and not like the shite that Dan Brown writes which people take as fact and go on "pilgrimages" to uncover what is essentially a load of old bollocks.

Following reports of DNA samples stored in a freezer with tubs of ice cream, here's a scene from the latest offering of the CSI: franchise

Grissom: Ay up Brass, we've just 'ad DNA results back from rape case.

Brass: Oh aye, and 'oo did it.

Grissom: Well, you'll not believe it when ah tells thee that DNA is bovine.

Brass: What's bovine, when its at home?

Grissom: Cows, man. Cows.

Brass: So how did victim get cow DNA up her chuff.

Grissom: Dunno. Let's ask Katherine.

They go down the hall to Katherine's office.

Grissom: Ay up lass.

Katherine: Ay up duck.

Brass: Tell me about rape victim.

Katherine: Not much to tell. She's a big lass and we found her trussed up in a farmer's field. Can't remember what 'appened at all.

Grissom: Dairy Farm?

Katherine: Ay, 'ow did you know?

Brass: Never mind. Case closed. What these young lasses will get up to these days, ay!