Darling and Balls remain firmly ensconced in their posts full in the knowledge that a move for either of them would have meant Gordoom having to go back to B&Q for a refund and having to get a qualified joiner in - someone who would be able to put together a proper cabinet. With the resignations of Hoon (aka cunt), Beckett horse faced caravan dweller), Flint (gap toothed bint with over reliance on Clairol Nice 'n' Easy), Blears (ginger biking midget), Tom Watson (fat bastard), et al, Gordoom has run out of barrel to scrape and has had to bring in Mrs Kinnockio (troughing bitch from the EU), Peter Hain (Welsh, orange-skinned ANC terrorist and trougher-in-chief) and Sir (now Lord) Alan Sugar (East End spiv and car washer - cf Jurgen Klinsmann's football shirt)
Sean Woodward, turncoat and Gordoom's cheerleader in chief and fellater had to be trotted out onto Any Questions in the wake of Thursday's electoral wipeout. The Labour message is that the Tories didn't do as well as expected. Well if taking complete control of Local Authorities in staunch Labour strongholds like Derbyshire, Lancashire and Staffordshire is "not doing very well", then the Tories will only need to "do OK" in the General Election. I was at the count for the Derbyshire County Council elections yesterday and Labour were in sombre mood - Tom Levitt put in an appearance but when his favourite County Councillor had a 900 vote majority converted into a 200 vote deficit, he slunk away full in the knowledge that the jig was well and truly up and his days as MP are dwindling fast.
Gordoom hangs on, delusional in his belief that he and only he alone can be the saviour of The Labour Party, the economic crisis, the parliamentary expenses system, Great Britain and The World. The new cabinet will meet on Monday - in the wake of a second electoral wipeout.
I predict that by Tuesday they will all be out of a job as Gordoom shuffles grimly up The Mall to ask Her Majesty to dissolve parliament and he will, with the greatest reluctance, call a general election. Not much of a cabinet - but a DIY disaster.
