When I said that Gordoom needs balls, this is NOT what I meant.

Iraq was supposed to have had them. North Korea is testing them.

Our troops went into Iraq to look for them and couldn't find any. North Korea flaunt theirs.

Why hasn't Obama ordered the Pacific Fleet to the Sea of Japan? Or do they only favour "a little police action" when the defence industry needs to offload short-dated ordnance?

I received a very nice official looking invoice from a company called Domain Renewal Group today.

They are inviting me to transfer my grumpyoldsods.com domain over to them for the princely sum of £35.00. I have looked them up on the interweb and it does appear that they are a bunch of scam artists.

The invoice has been annotated: NO! PISS OFF!, put back in the envelope and dropped into the post box. The cheeky bastards don't even use FREEPOST, so I have helped them out and forgotten to put a stamp on the envelope. Well the domain does say grumpyoldsods, what do they expect?

In time-honoured Jeremy Kyle fashion, the DNA results are in. And. Shock! Horror! Alfie Patten is not baby Maisie's dad.

Max Clifford can't be seen for dust. Alfie is distraught, apparently Fathers for Justice want their Spiderman suit back.

For months now, bloggers have been calling for the dismissal of The Speaker of The House, the resignation (and/or untimely but amusing demise) of Gordoom Brownfinger, and the dissolution of Parliament.

Guido has investigated doggedly, the erudite Devil's Kitchen has been articulately profane, OH has been vehemently profane , Dungeekin has done the satire (although much of what has been reported is beyond it) and Ms. Raccoon has provided measured and balanced posts.

This morning, the MSM including the BBC have finally caught up.

THE SUN today calls on Gordon Brown to ask the Queen to dissolve Parliament and hold a general election — so politics can be rid of its sleaze-ridden MPs once and for all.

Tory leader David Cameron believes the British people have had enough of sleaze-ridden MPs — and he backs growing demands for a snap General Election to clean up the Commons.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown is under mounting pressure as public fury hits boiling point over the shocking expenses scandal.

The worm has well and truly turned. Murdoch seems to have decided the Labour Party has now outlived its usefulness and I expect that the newspaper (and I use that word in the loosest sense possible) will throw its full weight behind Cameron right up until the General Election results have been announced.

The Times:

Michael Martin will make a last desperate attempt to save his job as Speaker today after both main opposition parties declared his position untenable.

Faced with a clamour of calls to resign, he revealed that he was to rush forward reforms to the discredited system of MPs’ expenses, which he will present to the Commons.

The Telegraph:


From Simon Heffer's comment:

It is now reported that the Queen herself used the audience she gave Gordon Brown last Tuesday to express her distaste at the disclosures. While discussions at these meetings are secret, it would, given the Queen's role in our constitution, have been infinitely more surprising to learn that she had not reflected the feelings of her people.

Her Majesty has a precise understanding of politics, and she cannot help but be aware of the implacable outrage, and the danger to the parliamentary system, caused by the exposure of so many political figures as immoral, dishonest and possibly even criminal.

The article appears to call on The Queen to exercise her constituional prerogative and dissolve parliament.

Even the BBC has caught the mood of the people with a Five Live dramatised version of  Oliver Cromwell's castigation of parliament which has featured on many a blog these past months:

The only newspaper that doesn't reflect what people are thinking this morning is The Mirror:


With the featured offer, there are unconfirmed reports that the paper has sold out in all newsagents on Humberside.

From wikipedia:

The talent Latin: talentum, from Ancient Greek τάλαντον "scale, balance") is one of several ancient units of  value equivalent to these masses of a precious metal. It was approximately the mass of water required to fill an amphora.


An Attic talent of silver had a purchasing power of approximately $20,000 in 2004 money. It was also the value of nine man-years of skilled work. During thePeloponnesian War, an Attic talent was the amount of silver that would pay a month's wages of a trireme crew. Hellenistic mercenaries were commonly paid one drachma per day of military service. There were 6,000 drachmae in an Attic talent.

Gordoom wanted a government of all the talents, instead they just helped themselves.

Over on Constantly Furious, there is a campaign to get the MPs to pay back what they have misappropriated from the public purse.

Well it looks like it has worked. David Cameron has given the Conservative MPs a bit of a horse whipping and those who have deliberately or mistakenly claimed for expenses that are outside the spirit of The Green Book, or claims which appear to be outside the spirit of the rules, are paying it back. Gove, Duncan, Hogg, Letwin et al are down at Coutts having bankers drafts drawn as we speak.

Let's see whether Blears will submit her Capital Gains tax dues, whether McNulty will pay back for claiming to be living with Mummy and Daddy, whether Jacqui will pay back for the bathplugs, patio heaters and her sister will declare the income she receives from her lodger, whether Gordoom will pay back that which he paid his brother, whether Darling will pay back that which he has profited from his second/third/fourth home, whether Prescott will pay back for the gables, lav seats and year's supply of Melton Mowbray's finest. Come on Gordoom, Dave has stolen a march here. Get your moral compass out of your arse and get your lot to pay it back as well.

Much has been written and reported on how MPs have abused the expenses system these past few days.

When I first heard about what was to be revealed I will admit to a certain sense of glee that the fraudsters would be at best forced to resign, and at worst be contrite and made to pay back that which they have stolen from the taxpayer. As the DT has drip fed us the claims for cleaning services, security services, baby's nappies, comics, tennis court repairs, nights out at the thatre, toilet seats, dog food etc., etc. the schadenfreude has dissipated and has been replaced by anger.

Harman and Blears bleat about how the blame lies with the system. No it FUCKING DOESN'T. You fucking fraudsters CHOSE to make these claims, YOU CHOSE to "flip" your residences, YOU exploited the "rules" for YOUR OWN pecuniary gain. How DARE YOU!, HOW VERY FUCKING DARE YOU TAKE OUR MONEY AND TROUSER IT. YOU UTTER UTTER CUNTS!

Sir Alastair Graham is cautious about using the word "fraudulent". The hell with that...they are THIEVES and FRAUDSTERS....Blears, McNulty, Uddin, Smith, Gove, Letwin, Straw, Hoon, Mandelson, Milliband D, Ussher, Purnell, Woolas, Byers, Blair, Martin, Barker, Baird, Brown, Darling, old Uncle Tom Cobbley et al...you are THIEVES, LIARS and FRAUDSTERS.

Not only that, you have destroyed the faith of the British people in the integrity of our political process. You have turned the Mother of all Parliaments into a painted whore.

So says Alan Johnson....

If Brownfinger is the best that the Labour  Party can muster to lead the government then we are in worse shape than originally feared.

In the BBC article, Johnson says:

He called Mr Brown a "man for these times", despite several leading Labour figures criticising his performance.

A "man for theses times". What does that mean? Does it mean that a psychologically flawed, socially inept, sociopathic liar is the best person to be blamed? Once Brown is gone, and the scent of a leadership challenge is in the air, does that mean all Brown's skeletons will come tumbling out of the vast array of cupboards in which they are currently stored? Will the PLP then feign ignorance and go around the TV studios saying "well we never knew *that*!"

Brown has clearly been damaged by the demise of Damien McBride. Since Guido brought the Downing Street smear campaign to everyone's attention, Brown's PR has been a disaster. His gurning on YouTube, his u-turn on the MPs second home allowances, defeat in the Commons on the Gurkha issue...it is all starting to unravel.

Johnson reckons that "the focus at the next election would be on "issues", such as the economy."

If we still have one by then.

But if Brown is "the best man for the job", what does it say for the rest of his frontbench? There aren't many that have had proper jobs. Only Alan Johnson can really say that he has worked for a living as a shelf stacker for Tescos and then as a postman. After that he creamed union dues for a living with the Union of Communication Workers and considers himself to be a Marxist. So definitely someone not to be trusted with being Prime Minister then. But what of the others:

Harriet Harpy - Between 1978 and 1982 she was legal officer for the National Council for Civil Liberties and as such was found incontempt of court in the important civil liberties case Home Office v. Harman 1983 1 A.C. 280, 308, before becoming MP for Peckham in a by-election in 1982.

In the case of the Home Office V Harman the British House of Lords found a solicitor guilty of a serious contempt of court because she had allowed access by a journalist to documents discovered by the Home Office in an action against it by her client. It is significant that the contempt was by the person who had been granted discovery and there is no implication in that case that release by the Home Office would constitute a contempt. It is of interest that the solicitor concerned appealed the decision of the House of Lords to the European Court of Human Rights and that a friendly settlement was reached with the Home Office leading subsequently to a change in the law relating to discovery.

We all know Ms Harpy's contempt for the law, preferring to try cases in the "court of public opinion".

Ed Bollocks - wrote articles for the FT, now fucks up all things to do with education, revealed as the man operating the levers behind Damien McBride's curtain. Married to Yvette Cooper.

Yvette Cooper - She began her career as an economics researcher to the shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer John Smith MP in 1990 before becoming a domestic policy specialist, working in Arkansas, for the United States Democratic Party presidential candidate Bill Clinton in 1992 - wonder if she likes cigars, or does Bill not really go for the boyish girl?. 

David Millibland - son of a commie bastard (says "Marxist intellectual" on wikipedia, but that's an oxymoron much like "socialist worker") - Miliband's first job was for the National Council for Voluntary Organisations. From 1989 to 1994, he worked as a Research Fellow and policy analyst at the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR). He was appointed Secretary of the IPPR's Commission on Social Justice upon its foundation in 1992 by the then leader of the Labour Party, John Smith.

Ed Millibland - son of the same commie bastard that fathered David. After a brief career in television journalism, he became a speechwriter and researcher for Labour politician Harriet Harman in 1993, and then for Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown the following year.

Phil "I hate Gurkhas" Woolas -  joined the Labour party at the age of 16 and became involved in student politics through the Anti-Nazi League.^[3] Before entering Parliament, Woolas was Head of Communications at the GMB trade union (1991-7) and previously a television producer for the BBC (on Newsnight) from 1988-90 and ITN (Channel 4 News) from 1990-1.

James "What the fuck is a Hoover?" Purnell - While still a student he worked in the summer holidays as a researcher to Tony Blair from 1989 to 1992. After graduating he worked as a Research Fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research before moving to the BBC to become Head of Corporate Planning. In 1997 Purnell returned to work as a special advisor at Number 10 until 2001.

Hazel "Wouldn;t you like to punch her in the face" Blears - started her career in Salford as a trainee solicitor with Salford City Council in 1978. After two years, went into private practice for a year, before joining Rossendale Borough Council as a solicitor in 1981 and in the same year was elected as a Branch Secretary in NALGO. In 1983 she became a solicitor for Wigan Metropolitan Borough Council and later became Manchester City Council's education solicitor.

Alastair "Badger" Darling - He became the head of Aberdeen University Students Union. Before joining the Labour Party at the age of 23 in 1977, Darling was a supporter of the International Marxist Group, the British section of the Trotskyist Fourth International. - another fucking communist! He became a solicitor in 1978, then changed course for the Scots bar and was admitted as an advocate in 1984.

Geoff "Buff" Hoon - another fucking lawyer.

Lord Peter "Whoops don't mind me" Mandelsailor - antoher fucking commie that has never had a proper job.

Jack Straw - another fucking lawyer

In fact, I just can't be arsed to trawl through any more biographies. Johnson apart, not a single frontbencher, Gordoom included, has ever had a proper job. No wonder Brownfinger is considered the "best man for the job" - none of the others know what it's like to have to work for a change.