And what illiberal fuckstick thinks it's agood idea to do this? Step forward:
Moronic, common sense lacking bureaucrat
Graham McArthur, headmaster of Somersham primary school in Cambridgeshire,
said checks on the two dozen parents volunteering to walk his 330 pupils to
the carol service at nearby St John’s church on December 17 were necessary —
even though they will be accompanied by teachers and a police community
support escort when crossing the road....
Right, so in broad daylight, under the watchful eye of a PCSO and teachers, parents will still need to be vetted to walk alongside their own children a few hundred yards from the school to the church. Why? Is some perverted parent going to drag little Tarquin off into the bushes for a quick kiddyfiddle? If I was Mr. MacArthur, I'd do a check on the PCSO, just in case.
So tell me Mr. McArthur, how much is this going to cost, and who pays for it?
“For the carol service they will need clearance [from the banned list] which
is basically something we can do on the day.You need to see details of who
they are, where they live and make several phone calls.
Right, So whose job will it be to spend all day on Thursday running round checking that Mummy and Daddy actually live in the same house as Chardonnay, Ishtar, Tarquin, Tyrone, Katie-Jordan and Clitoris-Jane?
“Parents accept it’s about safeguarding the welfare of children. They accept
it only has to be done once and it’s a necessary chore.”
Do they Graham? Do they really? Or do they mutter under their breath what a complete and utter fuckstick you are for checking up on them when there is absolutely no need for this whatsoever?
And what about your staff? Have they acquiesced to this bureaucratic bullshit, have none of them had a quiet word in your shell-like and said "Hang on a minute Graham, don't you think this is a little OTT?" ? Or have you merely shut them up with the old "well it's a child safety policy thing and we really must cover our own arses?"
What's next? CRB checks for parents who venture within 50 yards of the school gate when delivering or collecting their own children from school?
Until recently I had considered seriously voting for your PPC for the High Peak constituency, Andrew Bingham. Mainly because Andrew represented the best hope for unseating the incumbent Labour Party parliamentary representative to the High Peak, Tom Levitt. Mr. Levitt will be standing down at the next election and, no doubt, some other Labour Party representative will be parachuted in. Whoever it is will be on a hiding to nothing because the politburo have decided not to support the local party seriously enough to contest the seat. Also, I have no doubt in my mind that Andrew Bingham will represent the consitituency in the House of Commons to the best of his abilities, unlike Mr. Levitt who has been a Labour yes man all his parliamentary career.
The main reasons for my current doubts are:
1. The European Union.
I never had a say in the signing of the Lisbon Treaty by Gordon Brown. He has stolen the sovereignty of the British people and sold it for nought. The EU is a corrupt cabal of bureaucrats passing ever increasingly illiberal directives which member states are bound to implement as law within their own states. We contribute £40m per day to this charade. £40m per day that could be better used within our own borders to reduces the ridiculous deficit that Gordon Brown, through his own economic incompetence, has inflicted on our country for generations to come.
Will you promise that, if elected PM, you will renegotiate the United Kingdom's status within the EU? The argument that withdrawal from the EU would damage the economy or leave us isolated from the rest of the world is specious at best. Norway and Switzerland thrive without being fully fledged EU members.
2. Climate Change/Global Warming.
Mr. Cameron, you appear to be wedded to the scam that is global warming/climate change. In the past week, we have seen publication of data and emails from the Hadley CRU. Serious questions must be asked about the integrity of the data and methodology used for analysing that data and by extension the integrity of the IPCC reports. Billions of dollars and pounds have been poured into researching climate change/global warming. Reasearch that now appears to be nothing more than an elaborate fraud. Indeed the world's leading proponent and spokesman, Al Gore is earning in the region of $500m per annum on the back of this scam.
This morning, there are reports that the funding earmarked to tackle climate change in third world countries cannot be accounted for. Where has this money gone?
Will you, if elected, set up a public enquiry into the so-called phenomenon of global warming. An enquiry in which those scientists who have expressed scepticism can present their own evidence without fear of being compared to a holocaust denier. An enquiry where the evidence presented by the promoters of global warming can be examined and challenged. Science is never settled. Consensus belongs in the political sphere not science.
3. The Country's Finances
Will you, if elected, call in the auditors and present a true set of accounts to the country? This must include the extent to which Gordon Brown, both as Chancellor and Prime Minister has mismanaged the country's finances. Those accounts must show how much money has been poured into Northen Rock, Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds HBOS, as well as the extend of PFI and public sector pensions.
4. Gordon Brown, the Labour government and PMQs
Mr. Cameron, I understand that you are reluctant to play the man rather than the ball. The forthcoming election campaign will be one of the nastiest in the political history of this country. The Prime Minister thinks nothing of smearing his political enemies, both inside and outside of his own party. We saw earlier this year that his inner circle of advisors were fully prepared to smear yourself, George Osborne and other senior Tories by rumour and untruth. He is a thoroughly nasty individual. The Prime Minister will stand up at noon today and trot out a list of tractor statistics, overblown achievements, spin, lies and not answer a single question you put to him. Please remind him that Questions to the Prime Minister are supposed to illicit an honest answer and that the session is not called Conservative Policy Presentation Time.
5. The BBC.
If elected, will you abolish the TV licence fee? The BBC has shown itself to be nothing more than a ministry for propaganda either by biased reporting or by omission of pertinent detail from news reports. It is time, in this modern digital television and radio age, that the BBC stood on its own two feet.
It has always been my belief that voting is not just a right or a privilege, it is a duty. A duty to the good men and women who gave their lives during two world wars and the numerous military actions since. Good men and women continue to give their lives in Afghanistan despite this government's reluctance to provide them with adequate equipment or strategic guidance.
So you can see that I am in something of a quandary for the forthcoming election. I want to vote, however I'm not confident enough now that the new boss will be that much better than the old boss. I seriously doubt that the other parties, the LibDems or UKIP offer much of a credible alternative.
Mr. Cameron, can you assure me that should I put a cross in the box next to Mr. Bingham's name on the ballot paper that it is a vote worth casting.
Yesterday the EU appointed a President to oversee the affairs of the EU. I have been most honoured in being the first blogger to be offered an exclusive interview with the new President, Rambling Syd Rumpo*.
HC: Good Morning Rambling Syd
Rambling Syd: 'Ello me deario
HC: Congratulations on becoming EU President
Rambling Syd: Thank you me deario for your kind congratulations.
HC: Were you surprised to be appointed President?
Rambling Syd: Certainly. The only other high office I have held is judge at the annual goosenadgers fair. So yes, me deario, I was very surprised.
HC: When you take office, what do you think is going to be your biggest challenge.
Rambling Syd: Well, me deario, cordwangling the French and the Germans for sure. Getting the Spanish to fall into line with the new munging greebles legislation, and appointing my good friends Julian and Sandy from Bona Law to the European Court.
Julian and Sandy: Ooooooh! Hello Mr. Crun. How very nice to see your dolly eek again.
HC: Good morning chaps.
Julian: Chaps, chaps. How very dare you. we are not cowboys.
HC: Sorry, not offence meant. How do you feel about moving to the Continent.
Sandy: Divine. Sitting, sipping a tiny drinkette, vada·ing the great butch
omis and dolly little palones trolling by, or disporting yourself on
the sable plage getting your lallies all bronzed - your riah getting
bleached by the soleil.
HC: And where will you live?
Julian: We've got an ami down there who'll rent us his lattie
Sandy: Who?
Julian: Gordon. You remember him.
Sandy: Oh, yes. That Gordon. Him with the leather
jeans and jackets and goggles and helmet and things. Looked like a
kinky AA man. Him who had the bar in Tangiers?
Julian: Yes. The Rocking Horse in the Rue des Matelots.
Sandy: Has he give up the bar?
Julian: Yes. Fell through. She walked out on him.
Sandy: What? The old boiler?
Julian: Yes· She moved on.
Julian: Hmm. Thought she would.
HC: Sorry to interrupt you but if I was interviewing the new EU President..
Julian: Sorry. We was just having a wander down Memory
Lane. Now - if we drop Gordon a 1ittle telegramette, I'm sure he'll
accommodate if we say you're a chum. Do come and visit
HC: Thanks fellas, I'll keep it in mind. Back to you Syd. Is there anything you'd like to say to the European people?
Rambling Syd: If I may, I'd like to leave my troubador days behind, me dearios. So this will be my last song to you.
*With sincere
apologies to Kenneth Horne and Kenneth Williams
Dizzy postulates that the video below might be used as an election tool by Labour.
Workingclasstory has done an excellent fisking (in red) of the video, which I have, with his kind permission reproduced below and added some comments of my own:
It's the fighters and believers who change our world They said that working people were not fit to govern So we formed the Labour party
Which was bankrolled by the metropolitan middle class elitist Fabian Society When they told us women didn't deserve the vote We fought And won
The Tories gave women the vote
Interestingly enough, when Emmeline Pankhurst applied to join the Labour Party, her application was rejected on account of her gender.
They said the son of a miner could never become a minister But no-one told Nye Bevan
When did they say that? They didn't, because it obviously wasn't true. Miners had been ministers in several Labour governments before Attlee's. For example, the Labour Secretary for Scotland, William Adamson, was an ACTUAL MINER, not just the son of one. So Nye Bevan is completely irrelevant in this.
At one time it seemed impossible to stop the tide of fascism, until Cable Street and a few good men and women got in the way
Who were unrelated to Labour
I think history shows that it was the hundreds of thousands of men and women who gave their lives between 1939 and 1945 that put paid to fascism.
But notice that there is no mention of stopping the tide of Marxism, celebrating the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, or condemnation of the murders perpetrated by Stalin, Chairman Mao, Castro and Guevara. Indeed the cabinet is staffed with communists (Straw, Miliband, Miliband, Mandelson, Johnson et al)
The bright shining vision of the National Health Service was for many an impossible dream, until we created it They said we were wasting our time making a stand against Apartheid and that things could never change, but they did
Yes, they did, but Labour had nothing to do with that.
Nelson Mandela was released from prison in the early nineteen nineties and came to power in 1994 a full three years before Tony "TV Evangelist" Bliar was elected to office. If by making a stand they mean robbing banks and digging up cricket pitches, well that just doesn't quite cut it.
And in Northern Ireland too
Badly
With Sinn Fein MPs claiming second home allowances and expenses for their seats in a Parliament they have no intention of attending.
Rights for workers SureStart The minimum wage Cancelling debt for developing countries
And running up nearly two trillion pounds worth of debt for your own country.
All had to be won
How do you "win" a minimum wage? "Oooh! I won SureStart!"
The history of Britain is the story of fighting for the right thing against the odds
Care to show Churchill at this point? No.
Sir Alex lifting the Cup
Manchester United winning the Cup was the "right thing"? What? Why?
Because Slur Alex is a chippy Glaswegian Labour Party donor, that's why?
Dame Tammie reaching for the line JK Rowling opening rejection letters from her bedsit in Edinburgh
Again, how is this "the right thing"?
Ah, the usual tactic of success by association.
The dream to bring the pleasure of reading to our children
Shame the government she donates millions of pounds to has increased illiteracy.
So here's to the fighters
At this point, they show Kinnock. Who lost. Twice.
The true Brits The ones who never gave up Who came from behind ...
Juxtaposing that commentary with a shot of Gordoom takes a special kind of editing skill
...to win the day Sharing the same commitment We can succeed Because we must - because we're unemployable anywhere else...
The Labour Party representative to The High Peak has announced he will be stepping down when Gordoom has a ruch of courage to the head and finally calls and election. His excuse is that he wants to spend more time with his hairdryer - the one the taxpayers funded.
However, with a majority of around 700, I suspect that his reasons are more to do with being abandoned by The Kremlin. With no money to splash out on contesting the marginals Mr. Levitt will be left to fend for himself hoping to be returned by an increasingly hostile electorate. He's obviously looked at the pension payout and decided to cut and run while the going's good.
Let's look at Mr. Levitt's parliamentary voting record:
Voted moderately against a transparent Parliament.
Voted moderately for introducing a smoking ban.
Voted strongly for introducing ID cards.
Voted very strongly for introducing foundation hospitals.
Voted strongly for introducing student top-up fees.
Voted very strongly for Labour's anti-terrorism laws.
Voted very strongly for the Iraq war.
Voted very strongly against an investigation into the Iraq war.
It used to be said that an Englishman's home is his castle. Sadly this is no longer the case.
Labour in office (from now on I refuse to refer to them as the government as they were not and are not fit to govern) has passed endless creeping legislation to allow an ever increasing swathe of stickybeaks and prodnoses to enter our homes on the slightest pretext.
If you run a business from home, expect a dawn raid from HMRC.
If you fail to pay your council tax, expect the bailiffs to call under Proceeds From Crime Act legislation.
What the fucking fuckety fuck?! What complete and utter cunting moron sat at his or her desk one morning and came up with this one? He or she needs to be taken outside, strung upside down from the bough of a Horse Chestnut tree, flayed with a cat of nine tails and sprayed with salt water and left to dessicate.
Any H&S arsewipe trying to gain entry to my property will find him/herself looking at this:
Last week, was the 20th anniversary of the dismantling of the Berlin Wall. The bricks may have been removed, but the sentiments are alive and well and living in the dark hearts of Labour party apparatchiks.
As the furore over Gordon Brown's letter to Jamie Janes's mum rumbles on, so the blogosphere can't make up it's mind whether the spelling mistakes are symptomatic of Gordoom's failing eyesight, a hastily written scrawl so as to appear personable and sincere, or an attempt by The Sun to make Gordoom look bad. Personally, I don't think he needs The Sun's help on that last point.
The ever eloquent Mr. Eugenides has two posts both of which castigate Murdoch's rag. On the first post entitled "In defence of Gordon Brown", I left the following comment:
It's the faux sincerity that does it for me. Which Chancellor cut the defence budget year on year since 1997? Yes, Gordon Brown.
He
writes these letters and reads out the names of the fallen each week so
as to appear concerned for the well being of the soldiers and their
families.
230 soldiers have died in Afghanistan, 96 since the
start of the year. How many times has Gordon Brown gone down to Wootten
Bassett or attended any of the military funerals? None, not a single
one. So much for his sincere condolences.
No politicians go to Wootton Bassett except the local MP James Gray.
This is because the repatriation honour guards which line the High
Street of Wootton Bassett were started at grass roots and not by
politicians. There is a strong desire that politicians don't go
to these days and politicise them for they are about the people of the
town showing their respect and thanks to the fallen on behalf of the
nation.
I agree that not all politicians or MPs should descend on Wootten Basset every time a C130 comes into land, and that they should not attend military funerals. Except where the fallen soldier's family is personally known to them or is a member of his/her constituency. However, my original point is that Gordoom hasn't once been to Wootten Basset to meet one of the planes nor attended a single military funeral. The difference being, of course, is that in his capacity as Prime Minister he signs the Executive Orders sending the troops into battle. The least he can do is attend. Although, at the moment, he'd be spending more time at funerals than attending official engagements.
So, back to the letter. I don't think it is so much insincerity, poor eyesight, poor handwriting or an inability to spell but rather writer's cramp.
This weekend a minute's silence will be observed at all league football fixtures up and down the country. Premier League teams have agreed to embroider poppies onto their kits for their matches with the exception of Manchester United, Liverpool and Bolton.
So why have the two biggest griefmongers (Munich & Hillsborough) in sport decided not to wear the poppy this weekend.
The excuse is that it won't stand out against the red shirts. Arsenal play in red, let's see what their shirt looks like:
I can't tell you how delighted I am that you have appointed yourself as President of Afghanistan. I too, managed to become Prime Minister by avoiding an election. And I've been avoiding them ever since. You just need enough information about your opponents to make sure they don't stand against you. My good friend Bob in Zimbabwe has shown me how it's done, although he seems to prefer less subtle methods.
Now that you are President you can get the little people to do your bidding. I'll send Damien over for a couple of weeks to show you how to put false stories about your opponents in the press. Make sure you only employ cronies, although I'm sure I'm preaching to the converted on that score, LOL.
I have to say that you really should be more careful when stuffing ballot boxes. Use postal voting, it's far more effective to use postal votes and getting community leaders to fill them in for everybody. Also make sure that when one of your cronies does get elected, make sure that the electoral commission lose all the voting records afterwards.
You might find that when you do become unpopular people will start saying horrid things about you and poking fun at you on the internet. If I thought any one of the useless twats in my cabinet could do the job of fucking Britain up the arse as well as I have, I'd resign in a heartbeat.
First he wasn't, then he was. Not only indecisive about his biscuit choice (chocolate fingers are his favourite, or at least that's what Little Lord Fondleboy reckons), Gordoom didn't know whether to cheerlead for his "old pal" Tony as leader of the new EU club. Turns out none of the other boys and girls like Tony or his slot-gobbed grasping missus either.
However, Saint Tone of Baghdad has joined another gang whose leader is some German lad who use to run with some dubiously uniformed types back in the old days. Perhaps Tone has his sights set on becoming a cardinal in that gang, because let's face it once you reach the top of that organisation, you're pretty much infallible. The Labour Party seem to think Saint Tone is pretty much infallible and can do no wrong.
Now you can either go with the "everything Gordoom touches turns to shit" school of thought, or there was a deliberate attempt to rub Saint Tone's nose in it knowing full well that the rest of the EU club are never going to countenance having Bliar as their new gangleader. But how to spin it to the general public?
On QT on Thursday, they tried ever so hard but failed to convince that Saint Tone would be best placed and it would benefit Britain having him at "the heart of Europe". Well not so, the only interests Tone has at heart is his own property and investment portfolio. It's more what the EU Presidency can do for him ratheer than what he can do for the EU Presidency. Limpbiscuit Oprik (two time celebrity shagger), wanted Charles Kennedy as EU President. I somehow don't think having Charlie hosting chanpagne breakfasts is very wise, do you?
Anyway, I'm leaning towards Gordoom shafting (in the metaphorical sense, not the literal sense because as we all know - he's not gay) rather than supporting Saint Tone. Having seen that tactic work once, he's now thrusting David Milibanana forward as EU Foreign Minister. That's right, lets have an EU Foreign Minister that has managed to cause diplomatic incidents almost everywhere he has been, and keeps his intellectual capacity in that banana shaped valise he carries with him to Labour Party conferences. Still as an avowed commie bastard, just like his commie dad he should fit right in.
The real reason Gordoom has got the pom-poms out for little David is that the new post would put him out of harm's way and preventing Minibanana from becoming leader of the Labour Party. Remember "no time for a novice"? If nothing else, Gordoom is pretty darn good at bearing a grudge.
Gordoom wants little Eddie Bollocks to succeed him. Well if that doesn't finish the Labour Party as a force in British politics, nothing will.
