As blogged here before, my distaste for the Labour Party and its erstwhile leaders is well known. Blair, the faux sincere, shirt-sleeved TV evangelist was just unctious. Brown is deceitful, scheming, sly and quite obviously in a position so far above his level of incompetence it is embarrassing to watch. But worth it just for the schadenfreude value.
Until today. When David Miliband launched his own bid to take wrest the violin from Nero Brown.
Not normally a Guardian reader, I did venture over to CIF to see what the school prefect may have to offer:
The article is entitled:
Against all odds we can still win, on a platform for change
(Over 500 comments, most of them scathing, at the time of posting)And in my very first attempt at fisking an article I will endeavour to rip the little fucker's head off his shoulders and kick it clear across the quadrangle.
In the aftermath of Labour's third successive defeat at the 1959
election, a famous pamphlet asked the question: "Must Labour lose?"
Today, the temptation is similar fatalism. We must not yield to it. We
need to remember that there is little real sense among the public — or
even among Tory MPs — of what the Conservatives stand for, or what they
would do in power.
Read: "Ooh ooh, they're just as bad as us, those nasty conservatives."
Piss off Miliband. The Tories are not going to tell anyone what they stand for because a) Brownfinger won't call an election so there's no need to issue a Party Manifesto and b) you would just nick their policies but fuck up the implementation. The Tories don't need to tell anyone what they would do once in power. Currently, although not for much longer, the Conservatives are the official opposition and their job is to hold YOU and the rest of the ignorami in the cabinet to account.
The odds are against us, no question.
No shit, Sherlock!
But I
still believe we can win the next election.
Absolutely fucking delusional. You have just lost the 25th safest seat in the country to the woad wearing compatriots of your mate Gordon and you still think you can win the next election. There's more chance that my cock will turn to solid gold..
I agree with Jack Straw
that we don't need a summer of introspection.
Read: "But we will be sniping behind's Gordon's and drawing lots to see which poor bastard has to tell him he has to resign."
The starting point is not
debating personalities but winning the argument about our record, our
vision for the future and how we achieve it.
Blah blah fucking blah. We had this when Bliar was in charge. "It's not about personalities...." Of course it isn't because Gordon hasn't got one. And as for your record and vision. YOU'VE HAD ELEVEN YEARS AND WE'VE GOT FUCK ALL TO SHOW FOR IT!! Fuck you and your vision.
When people hear exaggerated claims, either about failure or success, they switch off. That is why politicians across all parties fail to connect. To get our message across, we must be more humble about our shortcomings but more compelling about our achievements.
Hmmm. How about ministers taking responsibility and resigning when they have fucked things up or been caught with their hands in the till. The only time ministers, senior politicos have resigned in the past is because they have been forced to (cf. Mandelson twice, Blunkett etc). And how about not re-appointing them to government a couple of months later and hoping no-one will notice.
With
hindsight, we should have got on with reforming the NHS sooner.
You took over in May 1997. How long did you think you needed?
We
needed better planning for how to win the peace in Iraq, not just win
the war.
You mean the war that wasdeclared on a false premise? The war that we sent our troops to ill-equipped? That war? The one Blair did his level best to pressure the the Attorney General to "change his mind" on the legality of invading Iraq? That war? The one that a million people marched through the streets of London to protest against? That war? The war that resulted in the suicide (official verdict only) of an eminent government scientist that blew the whistle in the 45 minute warning malarky.
We should have devolved more power away from Whitehall and
Westminster.
That's easily achieved. Just fuck off and leave us alone.
We needed a clearer drive towards becoming a low-carbon, energy-efficient economy, not just to tackle climate change but to cut energy bills.
If you have swallowed the MMGW argument - wait a minute, your whole government is in thrall to Al Gore's snake oil theories and social engineering project. Oh do just fuck off!
But 10 years of rising prosperity, a health service brought back from the brink, and social norms around women's and minority rights transformed, have not come about by accident. After all, the Tories opposed almost all the measures that have made a difference — from the windfall tax on privatised utilities to family-friendly working.
Ten years of prosperity sqaundered on half-baked policies such as ID cards, the NHS IT black hole, numerous quangos, a bloated public service, more NHS managers than hospital beds. Hardly surprising your policies have been opposed at every turn.
Now what are they offering? The Tories say society is broken. By what measure? Rising crime? No, crime has fallen more in the past 10 years than at any time in the past century. Knife crime and gun crime are serious problems. But since targeting the spike in gun crime, it has been cut by 13% in a year, and we have to do the same with knife crime.
A bit fucking rich considering the Home Secretary won't go out after dark, because she doesn't feel safe, your deputy leader goes out in a flak jacket. 90 murders in London this year alone. What crime is down? Much crime goes unreported because you fuckers have emasculated the Police Force and turned them into a Crime Recording Service. More police on the streets - don't make me laugh. PCSOs are NOT policemen. They are not employed by the PoliceService nor do they enjoy the same benefits as policemen. PCSOs are council employees. They are not trained to police or even prevent crime. They are nothing more than street committee busybodies in hi-vis jackets.
What about the social breakdown that
causes crime? More single parents dependent on the state? No,
employment has risen sharply for lone parents because the state has
funded childcare and made work pay.
Oh really! More fiddling of the figures. Employment may be up, but who is being employed. Not indigenous British people, but people from abroad who are actually prepared to get off their arses and do a job of work. Unlike the feckless wasters who refuse to go and pick fruit because it doesn't pay enough or because they may have to work with foreigners. The state does not fund childcare at all - all you have done is extend the hours a child can be left at school.
Falling school standards? No, they
are rising.
Then how is it that children can go through the entire school career and not be able to read, write, string a coherent sentence together or do simple arithmetic by the time they leave school. More students with worthless A* grades in worthless subjects is no measure of educational standards. And as for the SATS debacle - a monumental Balls-up.
More asylum seekers? No, we said we would reform the system and slash the numbers, and we did.
There's a world of difference between asylum seekers and illegal immigrants. You continue to send genuine asylum seekers back to Zimbabwe yet take no action against illegal immigrants involved in criminal activity. Why is that? And while we are on the subject: You are the fuckwit who, as foreign secretary, didn't know Robert Mugabe had been knighted. You want to be Prime Minister, but like your predecessors don't see or hear what goes on around them because your buttocks are in the way.
The Tories overclaim for what they are against because they don't know what they are for. I disagreed with Margaret Thatcher, but at least it was clear what she stood for. She sat uncomfortably within the Tory party because she was a radical, not a conservative. She wanted change and was prepared to take unpopular decisions to achieve it.
The problem with David Cameron is the reverse. His problem is he is a conservative, not a radical. He doesn't share a restlessness for change. He may be likable and sometimes hard to disagree with, but he is empty. He is a politician of the status quo — even a status quo he consistently voted against — not change.
I think you'll find that David Cameron is very much a politician of change. He will need to be to undo the damage Gordon has done to the economy, our sovereignty and our civil liberties. Hopefully Cameron will scrap ID cards, repeal the 42 detention without charge and get rid of the wasters and quangos and at least carry out the promise your lot reneged on a let us decide whether we want to sign up to EU contracts, or not.
Every member of the Labour party carries with them a simple guiding mission on the membership card: to put power, wealth and opportunity in the hands of the many, not the few. When debating public service reform, tax policies or constitutional changes, we apply those values to the latest challenges.
Those cards are a waste of money. All you have achieved is putting power in the hands of your Islington elite and opportunities the way of their wives, girlfriends, children and mistresses. We see daily how the likes of Michael Martin and that Marshall bloke from Glasgow East believe in the redistribution of wealth.
I really can't be arsed going through the rest of the vacuous drivel you have written. You haven't got the balls to stand up and be counted - you hide behind a thinly veiled attack on Cameron to throw your hat into the leadership ring.
What are you so afraid of? The people know Gordon is shit, the cabinet ministers know Gordon is shit, the Labour Party rank and file know Gordon is shit, you know Gordon is shit. So why not come right out and say so? I know why, because this is about party politics. Fuck the country, fuck the people, they don't do as they are told anyway the ungrateful shits. The Labour Party is what counts - well fuck you and the hearse you are about to ride out in.
Well, Miliband, consider this; it's approximately 6 weeks to the Labour Party conference. That's 42 days (how's that for irony?) for Gordon to be left in limbo, not knowing whether he will continue to be sub-Prime Minister or, like you and the rest of your party at the next election, cast into the wilderness forever. Good fucking riddance.
