I am so heartily sick and tired of filling in ethnic diversity forms every new school year, every time I make a hospital appointment, every time I apply for a new contract position. Last week I filled in was for my son - every year we have to update the contact details, medical emergency permission forms and an ethnic diversity form. Which ethnic group do you belong to? And a page of tick boxes and ethnic groupings to choose from - since when is Irish an ethnic group? If the Irish are an ethnic group what about the Welsh, Scots, Manx, Picts, Gauls, Normans...?

It tends to be a source of amusement to my son and depending on his mood he is either White British, English-Chinese or British Asian.

The last time I filled one of these dreadful forms after a hospital appointment, I wrote "WTF does it matter?", then I thought what if we play the system at it's own game? What if we screwed up the ethnic diversity stats in the same way that Jedi became a recognised religion after the last census? So how about we create a new ethnic group - The Green Manalishis?. Next time you fill in a form that asks for you to define your ethnicity, tick "Other" and write "Green Manalishi" in the space provided.

It will only be a matter of time before there is a Green Manalishi Police Association.